I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
