I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
