Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
