He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
