Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
