You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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