Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
