if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
