Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
