Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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