Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
