Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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