help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
