i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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