OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
