Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Even my vagina gasped.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sobbing to NWA
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
