Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
