you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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