I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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