I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
