I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
