When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
