you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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