Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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