It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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