i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
