hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
