just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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