I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
