I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
