Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
