My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
