Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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