You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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