Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
