just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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