put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
