hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Come on in and take your pants off
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