Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
