He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want her autograph on my taint
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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