i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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