She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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