She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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