she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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