how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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