Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
