never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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