please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
