Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
