dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
