I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
